Push-back: Internal Commitments for External Change

A personal manifesto for discussions with dissenting parties

Between the mainstream media, corporate narratives, and social media outlets, there are a lot of different perspectives on what is really happening and what is really true. Since it’s hard to know anything for certain, it’s understandable that so many people have chosen to focus primarily on carving out a decent life in their own corner of the world and not worry too much about what is or isn’t true.

Right?

In a perfect world, yeah, that would really be alright. Everyone is entitled to a life governed by their own principles of value, and the ol’ “live and let live” should be enough.

But…it’s not, and it never has been. At least in the course of US American history, one man’s “live” has been another man’s death or subjugation, and this will continue as long as the majority remains unwilling to look beyond their own corner and demand every citizen’s right to equality and equity. Facts are knowable, and we have a responsibility to verify and communicate them.

What is masquerading a mandate for individual freedom is in actuality an enemy of corporate good.

With that in mind, and a recent conversation with a conservative family member echoing in my ears, I’ve drafted a contract for myself. It is meant to serve as a guide as I learn how to swim in these waters of disruptive dissent and purposeful revolution. As I begin to confront my own discomfort in the face of counter-cultural and political rebellion, I pray that we will be courageous, kind, and unrelenting in our demand for true equality and equity in these United States.

1. I will not use emotion as an escape from or substitute for critical discourse.
   It can be painful to speak honestly, knowing that it will cost me acceptance and affection. Those losses and that pain do not change or lessen my responsibility to engage in the work of education, decolonization, and the reclamation of power and resources by whiteness, capitalism, and colonization. It will be tempting to use my personal feelings of sadness as an excuse to disengage, but I must not.
2. I will not rely on emotional supplication over verifiable facts and data to make my voice heard.
   This point is two-fold: My own experience is not the one to be centered, and my feelings are not a sufficient source of data.
   Especially when engaging with family and/or friends, I will have the urge to express my own feelings in lieu of historical and contemporary data, and the multitude of stories from victims of this country’s crimes, past and present. My feelings may matter, but they are not to be centered over the stories of subjugation of Native Americans, African Americans and Black folks, as well as the poor, disabled, queer, neuro-atypical, and other-wise non-conforming to the white, patriarchal ruling class. I will not use lazy “feeling” statements over verifiable “I know” statements, and I will not rely on my own emotional and lived experience as a convincing factor.
3. I will protect my resources.
   There will be many who will seek time, energy, finances, etc. and will either inadvertently or willfully squander them.
   Not every conversation/interaction/encounter is worth its price in time and energy, and there are those who seek to deplete them with no intention of engaging in thoughtful or critical discourse. I must learn to recognize these situations/conversations/people, and choose to walk away.
4. I will maintain compassion and empathy.
   I will not forego the cultivation and demonstration of compassion for each group and individual that comes into my path.
   Though I must be unwavering in my commitment to equality and equity, I will continue to seek out and learn language that offers invitations, not rejection, love and not hate, and a continued focus on this truth: What is truly, holistically good must be good for all, and no one is truly free until we are all free. Though oppressors must be held to account, they are also suffering. People are not my enemies; lies and false beliefs are.
5. I will be diligent.
   Growth and corporate change is not easy, quick, or simple. In order to be effective, I must work hard, continue to educate myself, and arm myself with truth, both moral and factual.
6. I will be prepared.
   Those who will dispute the need for change or the existence of injustice will wait and hope for me to show up as uninformed or fanatical. My position must be grounded always in truth, verifiable and unshakable. If I cannot substantiate or verify my own claims, they will question me and I should consider questioning myself.
7. I will be selective about how/when/with whom to share emotions.
   There is nothing wrong with feeling or displaying strong emotions, but we have built a world in which it can be labeled erratic/unhinged, and be cause for dismissal. My feelings are mine, and when I become capable of deciding for myself when to express them, I grow in autonomy over my own life, relationships, and effectiveness. Sharing feelings can be intimate, and therefore not always safe or appropriate.
8. I will learn the difference between rest and escapism.
   To remain sustainably committed and effective, rest is necessary. Rest refuels, replenishes, and propels. Rest is good and holy and necessary. Escapism threatens to trap and immobilize. This is far from a one-size-fits-all standard; we must each determine for ourselves which activities provide respite and rejuvenation, and which become a quagmire, giving way beneath us and swallowing our means of escape.
9. I will continually grow in humility and discernment.
   Along with being open-minded and detaching from my ego an appropriate amount, I must learn when to respond with a humble willingness to listen and learn, when to respond with true confidence in what I already know, and how much of each.
10. I will conquer my fear of being alone.
    My desire for acceptance has kept and continues to keep me afraid of expressing the truth. Whether friend or stranger, I must not allow the possible responses/repercussions to keep me silent.
    If the need/desire for social acceptance is determining my words and actions, I am being guided by fear rather than conviction, and I am still adhering to a contract in which the terms of my acceptance include compliance to a system built violently to keep those without power subjugated and oppressed. A relationship or community built upon these terms is not safe for anyone.