Netflix’s You: How Much We’re Willing to forgive the White Men We Love

I’m not one much for thrillers. I don’t enjoy being stressed or scared for recreation, and I find that most of the content within the horror and thriller genres rely too heavily on sensationalism and assault of the senses, and too little on the art and subtlety of quality story-telling.
Nevertheless, I found myself feeling compelled to find out how the stalking and *SPOILER* killing of a woman by a young white man who’d made her the object of his obsession would be portrayed. The show had exploded into popularity by this point, and my curiosity overrode my self-preservation instinct(the irony of this last point is not lost on me.)

I didn’t know what to expect. Would we be shown a sympathetic glimpse into the mind and making of an incel(involuntary celibate)? Would they delve into sociopathy in a way that lends to greater understanding and less sensationalized stigma? Would it be classic thrasher content, with the monstrous killer unleashing his uncontrollable rage on an unsuspecting public?

But what I saw was…unexpected. Joe, despite breaking into a woman’s home, stealing her personal things, and spying on her while nude and being intimate with another man, was pretty likable. Even while believing that all of this was an indication of his unmitigated devotion, he seemed to be relatively self-aware. Rather than demonstrating a backward or bigoted view of the world and reality in general, Joe’s steadily narrated stream of consciousness reflected a fascinating social thoughtfulness. His private thoughts denote a commitment to justice and social equality, and his steadfast attention to detail demanded respect, if not admiration, from the audience that he presumably doesn’t know he has.

Alright, a few observations:
- Joe is funny and handsome, working primarily at bookstores, so we know that he’s smart and well-read
- Joe kills lots of people, among which there is a disproportionately high number of people of color
- Most of Joe’s victims are objectively unlikable, so we usually don’t feel that bad about it
- Joe used to love a girl named Candace, but she was mean, and then he loved a girl named Beck, but she was untrustworthy, so he kept moving on; Joe has faith that love will prevail

Season two brings about a new realm of developments. In case you haven’t seen it, I’ll quickly catch you up:
1. He moves to a new city he hates for a new woman he loves
2. He kidnaps and eventually releases a guy that inadvertently figures out what’s up, highlighting his dedication to mercy.
3. More people get killed.
4. We get a good look at the childhood trauma that forced Joe to be a person that kills for love.

By the end of season two, Joe has killed some more people, successfully saved a few people, and has found out that his girlfriend has also been stacking up corpses in order to keep her loved ones close. He is exonerated of the murder that hit us, the viewers, the hardest(we can’t help but divide murdered people into categories of those who do and don’t deserve it), and in fact kind of tried to save them. By now we know that both his *late* exes were cheating, that Joe likes to kill abusers, and that he really wants to be a good person.

Let’s take stalk again.
- Joe is funny and handsome and smart
- Joe doesn’t want to hurt anyone
- Joe hurts a lot of people

There are varying positions about the impetus of art, and the responsibility of an artist in performing what amounts to an interpretation of reality. Countless films, series’, documentaries, etc., will tell us that sometimes a creator’s position is clear, and sometime’s its up to the audience to decide what the content means to them. There’s a tension between telling the truth and telling people what to believe.

“You” doesn’t tell us what to believe. It depicts the story of a man who, despite all obstacles and mistakes, is trying to maintain a sense of hope and decency. This is a man that knows he’s messed up, but is comforted by the fact that others have messed up even more, and maybe, just maybe, that means he deserves absolution from the fruit of his destructive compulsions, and a new chance to find a more worthy recipient of his axenic affections.

Joe’s most redeeming quality, it seems, is that he doesn’t want to be bad.